why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You took a bar mat shot.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
