I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
There are leaves in my underwear?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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