It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this just has baby written all over it
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
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