Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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