I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
