I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
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