i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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