brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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