? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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