i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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