So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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