she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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