Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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