so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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