$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Blood and glitter go together right?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
