Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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