Who wears a wallet chain?!
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize