His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
