Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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