just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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