Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I want a musical about memes.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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