Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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