..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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