So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
