If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
