HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
