Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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