My Higher Power is John Stamos
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
