I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
this hospital has no fireball
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
