I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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