The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
