1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
