Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
