I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
