love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
