She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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