dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
now i know why i became what i already was.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
