garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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