The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
