I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
sex in a hospital.. check
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Randomize
