Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
