just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
It's blow job season.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
