Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
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