So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
