After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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