As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize