physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
