There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
