I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
