I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I met the friendliest cop last night
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
