New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
