I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
it's great music for shaving your balls
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize