i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize