I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
