Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
