she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
