please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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