i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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