I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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