Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize