I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
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