You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize