Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
