Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
