Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
