I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
This house was built for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Terrible idea I love it
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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