I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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