She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
