Its about making memories worth repressing
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
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Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize