dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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