I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
